Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tiger Woods: A Sneak Preview of the PGA Star's Statement/Press Conference

Tiger Woods will appear Friday in front of the press for the first time since his recently forced sabbatical.

Here is a sneak preview of what he will tell the world's media and of how the situation has affected him.


"Blah blah blah Tiger Woods."

"Blah, (exhales breath), blah...blah blah blah blah blah my wife. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah golf blah mistakes."

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah family, blah blah blah blah consequences blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah Elin, (wipes eye) blah blah blah...blah......blah blah"

"Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb infidelities rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb. Blah blah blah."

"I blah blah blah peers, blah blah blah mother, blah blah blah turmoil, blah blah blah blah children."

"Blah blah blah media blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah: blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (blah blah Blah Blah) blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah pressure blah blah blah Internet/media. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah: blah blah blah. Blah Haiti blah blah lucky, blah media?"

"Blah family blah media."

"Blah blah blah coming back blah blah blah...Blah blah blah wife blah blah blah golf blah blah blah blah blah blah Monday."

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah role model blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah live up to."

"Blah sponsors blah Nike blah blah TAG blah blah USPGA blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah not forget blah blah me blah blah family."

"Blah blah blah golf blah blah family first."

"Blah, blah blah golf."

"Blah blah."

Press conference ends without questioning from media as Woods leaves the podium at 12 minutes, 21 seconds...