Thursday, March 10, 2011

Village Football President Banned by the FFF after Audacious Bid For Lionel Messi

The President of a French village side has been suspended for six months by the French Football Federation after he launched an incredible bid to bring none other than Barcelona superstar Lionel Messi to his club!

Cedric Enjolras, otherwise known as President Buch, decided to make the audacious bid for the little Argentinean after a few drinks with friends one evening. The President, who describes himself as handsome as a god, mounted like a horse, as smart as Einstein and a hero like Messi, obviously thought that the FFF would see the funny side.

Unfortunately, they did not and promptly banned him for six months.

FC Borne are based in the village of Borne, which only has a population of around 400, and play in the Haute-Loire District League. When local clubs want to register a future transfer, they have to log on and use the FFF's player registration system.

It was here that Enjolras thought that making an enquiry about Messi would be a good idea.
Enjolras, not put off by the FFF's draconian punishments and unappreciation of humour, explained what had happened:
"To submit bids among small clubs, you need to fill out forms on the Internet. I decided to register a bid so I typed the name Lionel Messi, his date of birth and his parent club into the system. Then the league transmitted the request to the federation. They were shocked by it and refused to send it to their Spanish counterparts. I have been suspended for six months, of which three are suspended. It was just a joke, to amuse friends.
"I'm going to have to spend three months in the bar..."
As it stands, FC Borne sit on top of FC Terminal 2nd Division Poule-C after 12 games and have a great chance of promotion, which probably prompted the move to look at bringing in some established talent for next season.

Unfortunately, the FFF, fresh from their comedic exploits in South Africa last summer, have decided to give the stand-up routine up for the time being, and with the sacking of Raymond Domenech, they have effectively amputated their funny bone.

Lionel Messi is in such good form at the moment that any club in the world, either past, present or future, would want to have him on their team. Over the last seven years, he has firmly established himself as not only the greatest player on the planet, but also as one of the greatest players of all time.

At the moment, he has 273 games played, 173 goals and 70 assists, with 92 of those goals coming in his last 95 games. Rumour has it that the buyout clause in his contract is somewhere in the region of €250 million.
One might say that FC Borne might have trouble in buying his boots, never mind his contract.

In putting the dot on the exclamation point of their statement, Yves Begon, the head of the FFF registration office, released a statement:
"One cannot accept such behaviour. It is perhaps a joke but we are here to judge the facts..."
In the end only one fact stands out, the FFF only employ jokers like Begon and Domenech.

For those of you who are interested, FC Borne are unbeaten since the bid for Messi was launched...

 Who is Willie Gannon? You can follow me on Twitter  @WillieGannon.