Never heard of Ars Bandeet? How about Einar Aas? No? Well everyone's heard of Segar Bastard, haven't they? For every Diego and Pele, there has been an Ars or an Aas. Here are a couple of the greatest names ever to grace a football pitch...
Well we started with the great Ars Bandeet , so a little explanation so you know the name isn't just made up.
Back in the '70s the legendary Ars Bandeet played for Algeria. I'm not too sure he was that legendary a player, but his name is a classic that time will never forget, or at least the inter-web.
Segar Bastard : Played his football in the early 1900s in England, he was also a referee. Which brings new meaning to the chant, "the referee's a bastard," and well, yes he was.
Einar Aas: The first Norweigan to play football in England after Brian Clough signed him from Bayern Munich in 1981. Incidentally, "ein" is one in German, one can only guess at what Aas means...
Francisco Arce: Nothing too funny with being called Francisco, Arce could be construed as something else though. And when your nickname is "Chiqui" Arce ...
Francisco had a 17 year professional career in Paraguay and played in a couple of World Cups before retiring in 2006 while playing with 12 October . Now that's a great team name too.
Arsene Wenger manages Arsenal and one of his best players is Andrei Arshavin . You just can't make something like that up. Bloody good player though.
Creedance Clearwater Couto : The Brazilian plies his trade in Belgium with SK Lierse. And other than his parents having good taste in music, little else is known about the elusive striker.
Steve Death : Other than being a Reading legend, having played 471 times for the Royals. Death set a great record in 1979 where he did not concede a goal for over 1,000 minutes. The record was only broken last year by Edwin van Der Sar of Manchester United.
Robin Friday: The greatest player you never saw was also at Reading with the great Steve. From kidnapping swans to defecating in opponents kit bags, Friday was one of a kind.
That Reading team of the late '70s just won't go away. Wayne Wanklyn was a nippy winger who was also in the same team. You just don't get that kind of symmetry anymore, except at Arsenal.
Wolfgang Wolf: The great Wolf had a 17 year career as a player in Germany with the likes of Kaiserslautern and Stuttgart berfore he moved into management with Nuremburg, Stuttgart, Kaiserslautern, and yes you guessed it, Wolfsburg !!
Danny Shittu: Daniel Olusola Shittu is a Nigerian footballer who has played in England since the late '90s. He's a big, tough, no nonsense kind of guy and you wouldn't like to come up against him in an aggro. Great second name though, made all the better when you realise that "Olusola" means "God creates wealthy" Shittu ...
Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway: Yep you read that right. "Charlie Oatway" as he was otherwise known as played for whole series of lower English league teams between 1993 and 2009.
And just in case you're wondering how he ended up with such a strange name...his parents named him after the 1973 QPR team. The "Charlie" part came into it when his aunty reckoned he looked like a "big time Charlie" as a baby. Charming.
Neville Neville: Father of Gary and Phil Neville.
Two-Boys Gumede: Nippy South African forward who is currently playing for the UAB Blazers in America.
Argelico Fucks: The Brazilian centre half's career started in 1992 in Japan, before he moved between Portugal and Brazil. It was here with Palmeiras that he put in a series of eye catching performances before he was snapped up by Benfica. It was this move that sparked EuroSport into action and the "Fucks off to Benfica" headline has now reached legendary status.
Dominique Dropsy: If there was ever an unfortunately named goalkeeper it is the aforementioned Dropsy. Although he wasn't as bad as his name suggests. His pro career lasted for 20 years and he received 17 caps for France, including playing in the World Cup in 1978.
Danny Diver: Was a Scottish striker who played for an incredible 18 teams during his 21 year career. Obviously he wasn't the most patient of fellows.
Kevin Prince Boateng: OK, so it's not as good as some as the previous names on the list, but any German that called his son Prince deserves to be mentioned.
Well, there's a small sample of some of the greatest names to ever grace a pitch, and if guy's called Willie can write about dudes called Ars and Aas and Fucks, well, the world is a great great place...
